Biological Clock
by DollyPop12
Summary: Stein, Marie, and a fake baby make three? Being friends-with-benefits with a man you've been in love with for years is surprisingly stressful. After Marie rants one too many times to Kami and Spirit, they work out a plan to get their friends together properly. But if that damn atomo-tot wails one more time, Stein's going to fling it out the window and he won't even regret it.
1. Tick

_"That's how it is when you love someone. You joyfully give unreciprocated head_." ~Y. Euny Hong

* * *

Kami knew why Marie called her to meet up.

She did so every time she got fed up enough to outright demand Kami carve out some space in her somewhat new "mom-schedule" so that she could nod at the appropriate times whilst Marie ranted.

That was what friends were for, after all. And as Marie's friend, Kami had a responsibility to make sure she was, if not happy, then at least not bottling everything up. Don't get her wrong, it wasn't as though Marie didn't take the effort to phone in and see Kami for other things, such as leisurely hanging out or bitching about how yet another person vomited glitter in the pet-store bathroom. No, it was just that with Maka turning six and Spirit going from being her pain-in-the-ass boyfriend to her pain-in-the-ass husband, Kami was more than a little busy and didn't really have the time for a meet-up that didn't involve gushing about Maka's report card.

But with Azusa off in Japan, studying abroad for the summer, someone had to make space to let Marie get everything off of her chest. Spirit was out, considering he was Spirit, and she clearly couldn't go to Stein.

Not if _he_ was the subject of her annoyed flailing.

So, there they were, watching The Real Househusbands of Death City, already having polished off an entire tin of cookies within the span of half an episode.

"Do you want more coffee?" Kami asked, and Marie paused mid-pout, some crumbs still settled into her lipgloss.

"Tea would be fine, thanks."

Kami complied, getting up to dig out whichever packet of tea she had in her kitchen shelves. There was still some boiled water leftover from the last cup of tea, so she refilled the mug and chucked the teabag in before walking back to her sitting room. She set herself in front of the floral tablecloth she kept on her coffee table before handing Marie the cup.

She didn't turn to face the television, again. Instead, Kami took a sip from her mug of coffee, her dark brown eyes clearly staring her friend down, watching Marie bite at her lip and adjust herself multiple times in her chair.

The Househusbands were just background noise, a slight distraction, and Kami grabbed up the remote to lower the volume, not breaking eye-contact the entire time.

The famous once-Sato-now-Albarn stare was impossible _not_ to crumble under.

Alright, not really, but Marie looked ready to spill. Kami was glad that Spirit chose that day to get Maka from school- Kami loved her daughter more than anything else in the world but she imagined if Marie waited much longer to talk to her, the poor woman would have a panic attack.

After twenty seconds of awkward staring, Kami determined that maybe, just maybe, the Sato-Albarn stare could only do so much to the Pulverizer. So, Kami supposed she was going to have to provide an opening.

"Marie? Are you okay?"

She looked up from her tea, opened her mouth once, twice, a third time, then looked back to her cup of tea and sighed. "Not really."

Ah, so she wanted a bit of a chase. Marie never liked feeling like a burden, but Kami often wished she would just come out with it like they both knew she would.

"Okay, that was a silly question. So, what is it?"

She already knew what it was. Kami started counting down in her head, three, two-

"He's just so... so... _infuriating_!"

Ah, there it was.

"What did he do-slash-not do this time, Marie?"

Marie's lips twitched into a smile at how forward her friend was, but it slid off her face immediately afterward and she scrunched her mouth to the side when she remembered her complaint. Kami leaned back, draping an arm across the back of her couch. She squinted at her and waited.

"You know, for being in medical school, he definitely _acts_ like he's clueless."

Kami didn't want to tell her that she, _everyone_ , told her so. It wasn't her place. And frankly, after three years, it would be somewhat pointless.

"He just isn't looking for a relationship, Marie. You know that."

"I know but- I mean, we're basically in one, aren't we?"

Kami blinked at that, setting her mug on the table.

Marie's mouth was pinched when she put her own cup down and it landed right on the iris of an embroidered daisy. Marie stared into Kami's eyes before she pushed her teacup away from its spot in front of her and set her elbows on the table.

"Sorry. I know we aren't-"

"No, you're pretty much right," Kami agreed, easily. Honestly, everyone thought so. No one ever said it aloud, but it was common knowledge among anyone who knew Stein and Marie that they were pretty much, or would be, in a romantic, monogamous relationship if Stein ever pulled his big boy panties up and acknowledged it.

Kami sighed. Her two friends — or, rather, her friend and her friend's crush since high school - started having casual sex with one another right about the time Marie was dumped by her long-term boyfriend, Joe Buttataki, and Stein broke it off (rather messily and after _all_ too many bottles of cheap, dishwater beer) with Medusa Gorgon.

Kami blamed herself. She was the one to introduce Stein to the damned bitch in the first place after meeting her on the playground. Maka was just so attached to little Crona, and Medusa seemed, well, nice enough. After the catastrophe that was their relationship, Stein was left emotionally ruined, Maka was out a friend that she really adored, and Kami and just about everyone else had to watch the mess between Marie and Stein unfold.

They were friends for a long time before Hurricane Medusa and Monsoon Joe hit, so it just made sense to them, to take comfort in one another. The problem was that Marie thought it was something more, and so she ended up biting off far more than she could chew.

How could she possibly know that for the next three years, she'd have to pretend she didn't have embarrassingly deep feelings for the man she was having sex with? Marie was the kind of woman who never understood a relationship like that. She didn't just want sex, she wanted _intimacy_ and adoration. But by the time the hammer of truth finally hit her, that Stein was looking for no-strings-attached, she was forced to keep everything secret. She had a fear that not doing so would ruin their friendship, their _relationship_ , in one fell swoop.

If you asked Kami, that wasn't exactly healthy. But no one asked her, so she kept her opinions to herself.

"Maybe take a break, Marie? There are a million guys who'd line up to date you."

Marie cringed. "I just… No, I don't think so. It just doesn't... feel right."

No one else ever felt right for Marie. It made sense: she was arse over elbow in love, though no one really understood what she saw in the guy. He didn't want any of the things Marie wanted, didn't really like the things she liked, either.

Stein was _Stein_. He didn't want kids, he didn't want a family, and Medusa scarred him deep enough that he had an aversion to any sort of romantic attachment at all. He was the living proof that the woman knew how to suck the life, the sanity, the _happiness_ from your very being.

Kami remembered how Mira pulled Marie aside after she found out about her and Stein's "arrangement" and warned Marie that she didn't know what she was getting herself into, that she should get herself out immediately. Stein was damaged to love: he didn't want it, want her, like she wanted him. What he wanted was a booty call. One he could watch television with and complain about medical school with and eat dinner with. One he could kiss when he felt like it and call when he had a problem.

A girlfriend without the acknowledgement. Everything but the responsibility or the title.

He was a coward, in Kami's opinion, too scared to open himself to Marie. Selfish, too, never thought about what _Marie_ wanted. _He_ wanted everything, but not the commitments, though last she checked, Marie was the only woman he so much as looked at with any interest.

He had wanted sex. He had wanted to be cared about and adored and touched lovingly. But he didn't want to be vulnerable and he found someone who'd give that to him, no questions, no ultimatums, asking nothing in return.

To his face.

Marie picked her cup up and drank some more tea, crossing and uncrossing her legs beneath her billowy peasant skirt. She looked into the murky water, her one good eye drooping. "I dunno, Kami. I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

Did she _ever_? Everyone knew what Marie wanted from Stein, but they also knew he was too cautious of a man to do anything. And Marie was just too invested to make a big gamble. Kami reached her arm out to comfort her friend and the younger blonde smiled, extending her own arm and linking their hands.

"It'll be fine, Marie. You're a catch. Anyone would be lucky to date you."

"Thanks, Kami."

"Of course. I can't let you wallow about Mr. Monochrome by your lonesome now, can I?"

Marie giggled and perked up further when she heard the front door open and a small, high voice jabbering excitedly.

"And and I did all my mul-muli-muliplations!"

Spirit's laugh was joyful and Kami's face took on the warmest glow of fondness. "Wow! Maka! You're so smart!" the man exclaimed, and Maka let out little squeals.

Kami stood up from her table, Marie following, to stand at the doorway and see her daughter. The girl was up in the air, her father's arms sturdy beneath her armpits.

"Daddy's right, Maka. You're our smart girl."

"Mama!" Maka called out, squirming in Spirit's grasp until he laughed, walking over to Kami and handing the girl off. His arm went around her waist, lips finding her cheek whilst Maka giggled. Kami swooped her daughter up into her arms and over her shoulder, and Maka finally caught a glimpse of the other woman.

"Auntie Marie!" Maka called out, one arm around her mother's neck in a hug and the other coming out to reach for Marie. Spirit gently splayed his hand over Maka's back, securing her further. Marie grinned, holding her hand out for Maka to grasp.

Spirit pulled away from Kami slightly, enough to look at the other blonde. "Hey, Marie. Something up?"

"Not really," Marie answered easily, though her smile grew strained. "Just had to talk to Kami about a few things."

"Ah?"

"Mhm. In any case, I should probably go. Maka must have lots and lots of homework _,_ " Marie said, making a sad face at the young girl. Maka mimicked her face and Kami adjusted her daughter, pulling away from Spirit so she could prop Maka on her hip, turning to her friend.

"Do you need Spirit to give you a ride? I'd offer, but I haven't seen my smart girl all day," Kami said, bending to kiss her daughter's cheek. When Kami looked at her, the yearning on Marie's face was clear as day. Spirit caught it, too, and he cut his knowing gaze to his wife's, who silently gave him a look that conveyed that she knew.

"No, no! It's okay! It's a nice day, so I can walk," Marie replied, shouldering her purse and hugging Kami. "Thank you for the tea. I'll call, okay?"

And she was off, faster than a gunshot. When the door closed, Spirit shook his head.

"Stein?"

"Stein," Kami confirmed, bouncing her daughter.

"Honestly, I don't know why he's so stubborn about her."

"Eh, you know Dr. Jekyll and Hyde. He's just like that."

"Yeah... Hey, Maka! Do you want a snack?" Spirit asked, his face excited. Maka gasped, clapping her hands.

"Snack!"

"What do we do before a snack?"

"Wash hands!" Maka answered cheerfully.

"That's right, baby girl!" Kami put her daughter down, her eyebrows coming together in confusion at her husband's sudden attitude change.

"Now, Maka. You're a big girl, right?" Spirit asked, kneeling down. Maka nodded so hard her pigtails bounced. "So can we trust you to wash your hands, all by yourself, like momma and daddy do?"

Maka gasped, nodding harder. "Yeah!"

"Okay, baby girl! I trust you!"

After Maka bounded off to the bathroom, Spirit called out for her to keep the door open just so he could keep an eye on her from his spot in the hallway. His face changed a bit when he looked over at his wife, and he dropped his voice after he straightened.

"You must be sick of hearing about it."

Kami sighed, folding her arms. "Who isn't? She doesn't know what she's gotten into. Hell, she never really did."

Spirit nodded, bringing up his thumb and biting at the nail. "It can only end a few ways."

"And most of them are bad. Pretty sure no one even expected it to go on for three years. I had a bet down for two months."

"I remember that, yeah... did you see how Marie looked at Maka?"

Kami nodded this time. "It was kind of sad."

Spirit sighed. "They just need a push, or something."

Kami chewed at her lip, glancing down the hallway at her daughter on a stool in the bathroom, happily washing her hands and counting aloud to know that she was being thorough. She remembered how much better she and Spirit's relationship got after they had her. And then she blinked.

"I... might have an idea."

Spirit was silent for a moment before he only asked, "Yeah?" and Kami licked her previously chewed lip, nodding slowly.

"Yeah."

* * *

"You're joking," Stein declared.

"I'm not," Spirit insisted, holding the eight pound robot out with a blank look on his face.

"Spirit, I would rather re-enter high school and spend a week with you when you're stoned out of your mind than spend a day with that contraption."

Spirit gasped. "She isn't a contraption! She's... well, you get to name her, but she isn't a contraption."

"I don't mind babysitting your offspring, but there is no need for a mechanical 'child' to test us."

"I'm sorry, Stein. Kami has her reasons."

"Like what?" Stein asked, raising a brow.

"Like the fact that you threatened to curb-stomp Black*Star when Sid brought him around you."

"The kid's annoying."

"All kids kind of are, Stein."

"True, true," Stein agreed, reaching into his pocket and fishing out a pack of cigarettes. "I suppose it's a good thing there's a biological urge to reproduce: we'd likely go extinct otherwise."

As he was lighting his cigarette, Spirit snatched the matches out of Stein's hand. Which almost forced Stein to punch him purely out of reflex. Spirit brought the robo-baby up to his face as though it could be protection.

Stein looked like he wanted to pinch the bridge of his nose. "And you want to chastise _me_ for threatening a child?"

Spirit looked more than a little guilty when he lowered the mecha-kid from its spot as his schnoz-shield. "You shouldn't smoke around kids. I quit for Maka."

"You'll be back on them soon, don't worry."

Spirit scowled and thrust the child into Stein's chest, prompting the kid to wail out. Stein looked at him, the slight air of murder around him. Spirit coughed and brought the doll back to his own chest.

"We'll reset her... that one was my bad."

"I refuse to do this."

"Stein, if I could ask _anyone else_ in the world, you know I would."

"Just have Marie do it by herself."

"Take care of Maka by herself? Stein, would you really put her through that?" When Stein opened his mouth to inform Spirit that, no, he meant that Marie could just take care of the doll by her lonesome to prove her worthiness for the two of them, Spirit only barreled on, undeterred. "I know Marie needs a distraction, but don't you think it'll be a little too much on her plate? I would hate to see her upset."

Spirit was looking at him with a knowing glint in his eyes. Stein glanced away.

"She wouldn't be upset. Marie likes children."

"She'd be bone-tired by the second day, and she wouldn't even complain because she's so sweet." Stein seemed to fidget while Spirit continued, on a roll. "Besides, _poor_ girl, she's been having _such_ a hard time since the animal shelter had to close down for construction-"

"She saw Kami just a few days ago-"

"You're her best friend. She's kind of in need of some more consistent company and you're closest to her besides Azusa and she's out, considering she's backpacking across Japan or something."

Stein's olive eyes moved to take in the scenery around Spirit as opposed to looking at him. Spirit smirked, knowing he just needed one more nail until the coffin closed.

"Come on, Stein. She has that time off from work 'cause of the construction and she's probably lonely. And she can't do it alone. She _needs_ you."

Spirit knew every way to make Stein yield: Marie was his Achilles heel and near everyone knew it. Frankly, everyone was surprised Marie hadn't melted Stein's icy heart long ago, but Spirit knew that Medusa left frostbite over everything she touched.

Stein scoffed, moving his cigarette around between his fingers before he rolled his eyes to the heavens and crammed it back into the pack, tossing it into his pocket.

"Hand it over."

* * *

Marie cooed up a storm when Stein showed up at her door with the child. "Stein, she's precious!"

"Name her," the man replied, stepping into her house and all but dumping the kid into her arms. Marie smiled while Stein moseyed into her kitchen to pick out an apple to munch on.

"How about Victoria?" she asked, bouncing after him as she poked at the child's plastic cheeks.

"'Victoria'?" he asked, the words muffled from the bite of fruit.

"Well, y'know," Marie started, "your name is Franken Stein... as in _Victor_ Frankenstein."

Curse his parents for their blasted puns. Stein stared at her, chewing and swallowing before he lifted a brow. "You're naming a mechanical child after me?"

She only grinned at him, her eye alight. "Yep!"

"...Alright," he said, turning away from her starry gaze. It couldn't hurt. "In any case, it's our responsibility for the next week."

"I know. Kami already called in. I think we'll make great parents, Stein!"

"We are _not_ parents. We are babysitters with ridiculous friends. Ridiculous friends who _hate_ me."

Just then, Victoria, as Marie so graciously dubbed her, began to wail out, distracting Stein from how Marie stuck her tongue out at him. The voice was highly mechanical and absolutely grating. Stein never thought he'd prefer an actual child's howl to anything. However, he'd take the organic over the technological, in this situation, any day.

Stein looked at Marie, maintaining eye contact as he dumped the bag Spirit gave him with the "baby bottle" and various other necessities in it on her counter.

"You always wanted a kid, Marie. I'm going for a shower," he informed her, turning away to walk to her bathroom, already knowing where she kept the towels. He already had a random bottle of body wash in her shower that he'd left over from one of their previous 'sleepovers'. Marie looked at his retreating back and down at the child, sighing while she unzipped the bag with one hand and rummaged for the bottle.

"It's okay, Victoria. Your daddy-"

"I am _no one's_ father!" Stein called from somewhere on the stairs.

Marie waited a second, listening to his footsteps before she rolled her eye and brought the bottle to Victoria's plastic mouth.

"Your daddy's just a damn grump."

* * *

Everything was fine for the remainder of the day. Marie didn't know why Kami had always complained when Maka was a baby. Marie changed Victoria's diaper, unnecessarily in Stein's opinion considering it wasn't alive, but a simulation was a simulation, and set it to sleep without any fuss at all, which gave them some time alone. The two of them decided to camp out in the living room and Marie was currently beating Stein at Super Smash Brothers for the fifteenth time in a row, which easily brought her mind off of everything that was bogging her down.

"Ha!" Marie called out.

"Bullshit. You're a button-masher," Stein complained, leaning forward and ready to pitch the controller right into her television.

"Haha! Eat that!" Marie taunted, forcing his character off the platform.

Stein groaned, dropping the controller to the side after the screen declared Marie the winner. _Again_.

Marie grinned, falling back on her couch cushions and throwing her feet in the air to kick them giddily. "You looooost," she sang out.

"You always pick Pikachu. You cheat."

She pretended to be offended. "Cheat? Me? Why, I'm hurt by the very accusation!"

"Of course," Stein told her, rolling his eyes and scratching his cheek. Whenever he stayed over at her house, a habit he originally got into when he still lived with Spirit and endured his womanizing ways, she'd make dinner (because he couldn't be trusted with the stove after the chicken incident, evidently) in exchange for first choice of any and all media they partook in. An edible meal not consisting of takeout was almost always worth it, even if he had to watch "The Vow". She'd been threatening him with "Magic Mike", but he put his foot down and told her he'd just order out. Or go hungry.

She giggled, bumping his shoulder before she got up and turned the console off. She knelt in front of her DVD player. "Hey, d'you wanna watch _Mama Mia_?"

"Again?" he muttered, leaning back and throwing an arm over his glasses.

"Yep!" Marie said cheerfully.

"It doesn't matter."

She put the DVD in and raced back to the couch, bouncing on it twice before she tucked her feet beneath her and reached for the remote. It wasn't that ABBA wasn't _oh so exciting_ but he'd rather be doing, _oh_ , just about anything else.

He carefully took his glasses off so he'd at least be spared the visual aspects of the film and folded them down next to him.

He could handle almost anything but a musical. Romantic Comedies, as Marie had constantly told him to refer to them as, were about as interesting to him as watching paint dry, but they made Marie happy. He slung his arm over the back of her couch, closing his eyes and hiding his yawn.

He was bored.

Just a few minutes in his fingers had absentmindedly started stroking over her clothed arm, and Marie seemed to shiver, rolling her shoulders into the touch and giving him a glance from the side. He faked obliviousness, biting down on his grin.

They didn't even last ten more minutes. It was almost amusing that Marie thought they'd get through the film, or that they'd actually watch it, since Stein had no interest in the movie from the start and Marie found that she lost any desire to watch it just a few minutes in when Stein decided he was going to occupy himself with something more stimulating.

His mouth was hot on her, lips strangely dry as he moved down her neck, not leaving any marks until he could pull her shirt around and bite at her collarbones. She stroked her fingers through his hair, leaning her head back to give him better access, and he ran his hands under her shirt, bunching it around her ribs, just beneath her bra. As he trailed downward, stretching the collar of her sleeping shirt to access her shoulders and more of her cleavage, he tugged the fabric up higher, though he didn't take it off, to nuzzle between her breasts.

She leaned backward, shifting around as though to lie down on the couch, but his hands on her hips kept her seated.

He laid a bite down on her sternum, sucking on her skin, no doubt leaving some sort of hickey on her before he made his way downward, leaving a line of mouth-marks over her torso. Just when he got to the waistband of her sleep pants, hunched uncomfortably, he flicked his gaze up at her and pulled away, leaving her to stare at him while she breathed in, deep and rhythmic.

Slowly, he slid off the couch and got into his knees in front of her, looking at her as though in question when his hands came to her hips once more.

"Do you mind?"

"I'll mind if you don't take my pants off," she replied, shimmying around and lifting herself up so he could hook his fingers into the elastic of her pajama pants and panties both, bringing them down her legs in one swift motion. Her calves came up to ease the process, and he grabbed the back of her knees as leverage to put her legs onto his shoulders, burying his face between her thighs.

She would take that over most Romantic Comedies, and she closed her eyes, bringing the heels of her sock-covered feet to his back and pushing him forward.

He was taking his sweet time. She sighed sweetly when he dragged his tongue over her, seemingly in slow motion. She wiggled her hips around, a sign for him to keep going, and he spread her open, stroking her with the barest touch before he lapped at her clit. She bucked when he sucked on it, and she tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling on it.

He ran his hand against her side, pushing the shirt that had come down once more, up slightly and ghosting a nail on the skin just under the frill of her bra. Marie shivered while he swiped his tongue over her sensitive, swollen flesh. The combination got the desired effect: a sweet little arch, her back peeling away from the couch. When he sucked harder, his tongue slowly circling, her thighs came up close around his ears, blocking off what of the television was still loud enough to be heard over Marie's pleased sighs.

He hummed tunelessly, only doing so for the slight vibrations. He didn't feel like going through the trouble of pulling away and rummaging around in her room to get her vibrator, so he was going to have to improvise. Marie locked her ankles behind his head, limiting his motions, but he had space enough to pull back and blow some cool air onto her wet flesh, prompting another shiver.

He looked up at her, and she met his eyes, her mouth open and her panting audible.

"Why'd you stop?" she asked, pushing the back of his head to direct him where she wanted. He yielded to her grasp, allowing himself to be directed. "Don't stop," she told him, shifting so she could rub into his mouth.

She _felt_ his smug smirk on her, and she found herself melting to the heat of his mouth once more, her legs resting on his shoulders while she sighed out and fluttered her eye closed.

At least, until they both heard Victoria's piercing yell echo out.

Stein stopped and moved away almost immediately, making Marie huff something under her breath that sounded strangely like, "So that's why Kami complained".

Damn cock-blocking doll.

Marie unhooked her ankles, moving away from the edge of the couch, an annoyed look on her face. Stein lifted a brow, wiping at the wetness on his chin before he brought his hand to his mouth.

"Going to take care of your child?" he teased, flicking his tongue out to lick the taste of her on his palm.

She grumbled. "I'll be right back," she informed him, swinging a leg over his head so she could stand up. "And it's _our_ child!" she called while he clambered on the couch.

He didn't answer her, only leaning his head back and yawning.

When she came back, not even twenty minutes later, he was asleep with both his arms draped over the back of the couch.

 _Bullshit_.

The man was practically a full-time insomniac but he chose _then_ to get some beauty sleep.

Marie had more than half a mind to wake him up and tell him to finish what he started, but he had work in the morning, a temporary job at a research lab he'd landed. He'd breezed through getting his bachelor's degree, and was coming into his second year of medical school. Since it was summer, and Stein was going absolutely crazy with all the graduate classes, he chose to take the time off and work in the lab full-time until Fall. He barely got sleep as it was, especially not on nights when he had to awaken at the unholy hour of 10 am.

So she just caved and pulled her pajama pants back on, leaving her panties wherever they were, since they needed to go in the laundry basket, anyway. She settled next to him, not feeling like climbing too many stairs to get to her room, especially when nothing was distracting her from the beachy dance scene playing on her screen.

At least she had _Mama Mia_.


	2. Tock

Stein woke up that morning to a wailing fake-baby and a petite blonde drooling and snoring on his aching shoulder. Marie hadn't moved to her bed last night and had, instead, simply used Stein's arm as her pillow. She must have found it comfortable.

But it was numb. His arm felt like it was on pins and needles from Marie using him as Franken Furniture.

He shook her slightly. "Marie," he whispered, flicking her nose. "Marie, wake up."

She groaned unintelligibly.

"Marie, you're drooling on me," Stein told her, nudging the woman.

"Iduncare," she told him, shoving her face into the crook of his neck. She must have felt his stubble because she made an annoyed noise and shifted around until her cheek caught the smooth material of his shirt.

"Marie, I have to get ready for work. The bag of bolts is crying."

"Bag of bolts?" she murmured against the cotton.

"The robo-kid."

"Steeeeiiiiin."

"Marie, deal with your child."

"Our child."

"Your child," he said, carefully rolling her off of him and sweeping up his bag, making his way to the bathroom. Marie groped around for her couch cushions.

She kind of wanted to smother herself with one.

* * *

Stein was usually the grumpy one, but considering she was the one that spent the day with their fake daughter, she thought _she'd_ be the grumbling one come afternoon. However, he showed up at her house well past 6pm, looking tired and drained. He knocked on the door before he opened it using the spare key she'd lent him a while ago when they first started to get really close.

Marie was in the kitchen, rocking Victoria against her hip while she kept an eye on the pasta currently situated on the stove. The slam of the door alerted her to Stein's presence, but when she just heard shuffling and no teasing comments, she jokingly called out "What? No 'Honey, I'm home'?

Stein sighed, blankly echoing her. "Honey. I'm home."

Oh. She knew that tone. Marie instantly turned the heat down on the stove and stepped out to meet him in the living room, Victoria still against her.

"Bad day?" she asked, cataloguing his fatigue with her eye. Stein nodded, removing the stupid tie he felt obligated to wear and undoing the button to his collar.

"The life of a researcher," he told her. "There is no such thing as a good day."

Ah, so it was just general moodiness. He'd cheer up once he ate. Or had an orgasm. It depended on whether hungry or horny won out that night. Marie smiled.

"Wow, check out Grumpy," she said, cooing at the false baby she was carrying. "Your daddy is so jaded."

"Not its daddy," Stein corrected, rolling his eyes and finding some ease around her. But he scowled and was silent when she placed Victoria in his lap after he sat down to take his shoes off.

"Oh, quit pouting. I've dealt with her all day. Besides, you two need to bond!" Marie chided, skipping back into the kitchen.

It was all too domestic for Stein and he picked the machine up at arm's length, holding it with a grimace on his face.

* * *

It turned out that horny won out over hungry. He was still in a mood at the dinner table, holding Victoria in his lap and having to be particularly careful with how he ate, making sure the automaton didn't get covered in tomato sauce.

They'd gotten in the habit of watching movies or playing video games after they ate, but after he did the dishes and handed the robo-tot to Marie with his nose scrunched, she decided against those particular means of entertainment. Instead, she only hinted at turning in for bed early, knowing he'd understand that she didn't mean to go to sleep. And by the time the flicker of realization came onto his face, she had already stepped out to set Victoria down, finding her way to her room.

* * *

Marie was beyond sick of what a tease he was being.

He smoothed his palm over her stomach, playing with the waistband of her shorts. "Do you want me to kiss you?" he asked, his breath hot on her earlobe.

"Yes," Marie breathed out, arching to his touch. She could hear the smugness in his voice.

"Where?"

She huffed, annoyed at how slow the pace was going.

" _Anywhere_."

His face came back into her line of sight and he lowered his lips down onto her forehead, a grin on his face when he pulled away. Marie reached to grasp his palm, still on her belly, attempting to shift his touch lower.

"You said 'anywhere', Marie," he informed. His half-lidded eyes looked amused.

"Just kiss me," she commanded him, frustrated when he twisted his wrist in her hold and pushed her arm to her side.

"Whe-"

"On the mouth, smartass," Marie claimed, cutting him off and lifting her chin. He grabbed her jaw, tilting her face so they met at a better angle. Marie breathed out through her nose, opening her mouth to him. Instead of slipping his tongue in, he nibbled on her lower lip, sucking on it.

She shifted under him, spreading her legs so he could settle closer more easily, but Stein kept his hips elevated above her. Marie licked at his upper lip, setting her feet on her mattress to lift her pelvis up and grind against him. Stein pulled away, breaking their kiss and pleased when she tried to chase after his mouth. He set his palm over her stomach once again, pressing her back down.

" _Stein_ ," she whined, her lip shining. He nipped at her neck, pushing the bottom of her shirt up so he could stroke her skin with his calloused fingertips. He scratched at her hip, barely snapping the elastic of her panties and shorts.

Marie covered his hand with hers, bucking up. "C'mon. Stop being a tease and touch me," she told him, attempting to take his fingers further south. She felt his grin against the juncture of her neck and shoulder before his face moved back to hers and he broke free of her hold again.

"Alright," he rumbled, bringing his hands up to cup her cheek and the back of her head, kissing her again. It wasn't what Marie had in mind. She moved her attentions to his shirt, tugging on it and dragging it up his torso, bunching it under his arms. He moved back to pull it off over his head, and she sat up, forcing him back until he was practically seated as well, invading his space to set her cheek against his chest. She caressed each bump of his ribcage, and she closed her eye, basking in the closeness. But he stroked her spine just once through her tank top. His nails scratched over the fabric before he traced the skin she had exposed right beneath the cloth.

"Can I take this off?" he asked her, and she shivered at the tone. Something changed in his voice, got deeper. She nodded, but she knew he wouldn't do anything unless she actually opened her mouth.

"Yeah," she confirmed, pulling away from him to help remove it, putting an end to the almost overwhelming tenderness of hearing his heart thump in his chest. The position was uncomfortable for both of them, with Stein settled on his haunches and Marie holding herself up with his help, her legs spread out on either side of him. She fidgeted when he pressed his touch to her now bare lower back, then up to the front of her shoulder in a single, smooth glide. His palm didn't even hitch over the band of her bra, simply skidding over it.

He shifted over her again, easing her back down to the pillows and she bared her throat to him so he could lick at her collarbones. She gave a breathy sound of consent, petting his hair.

He arched over her, setting his knee between her legs and she ground down onto it. All he had on her was a mouth and his hands and that one measly knee and she wanted more. She wanted _him_ and she cracked her lips open to tell him so-

-and then she had to be reminded that there was a damn baby in the house.

The screech cut through the room and Stein stopped immediately, groaning along with Marie. She heard him mutter "Again?" before he straightened off of her, scooting back to get off her bed.

She was surprised that he chose to go deal with Victoria, and she lifted herself on her elbows, feeling cold without him, following his form with her gaze. Her brows went up when he hesitated at the doorway, turning to her slightly. It didn't matter how many times she saw him shirtless: it was always a welcome sight, and that turn brought the muscles of his side to her immediate attention. Marie bit her lip, eye roaming over what of him was exposed.

"Don't do anything until I get back?" he asked, squinting slightly due to his glasses being on the side table instead of his face.

Marie nodded swiftly, resisting the urge to bring her thighs together and rub to alleviate the feeling between them.

"Okay," she agreed. "Be fast?"

His voice was teasing when he replied with, "Maybe."

After he left, she sighed, long and weary, and flopped back over her frilly pillows. The needy, wanting pressure for him hadn't eased up; in fact, it might have gotten worse when he asked her not to touch herself, to wait for him.

Wait for him. She's _been_ doing that, hadn't she?

She sighed, waiting until the wailing automaton got silent and his hurried, returning footsteps were heard.

Stein only liked to make her wait when it was on his terms. She just wished he would hurry up.

* * *

If they thought the previous two nights were annoying, the next had been absolute hellfire.

They fell asleep on the couch, trying to watch one of Marie's ridiculous soap operas, both of them too tired to do anything other than sleep.

But Victoria had other plans and she wouldn't shut up no matter what they tried. Marie spent an hour trying to calm the banshee's scream at first and then stomped over to Stein and practically kicked him awake.

"So help me God, Franken. You deal with this!" she told him, practically pitching Vicky at his face and stomping up to her room.

It continued that way for six hours. He'd get fed up after thirty minutes, storming to Marie's room and throwing the robo-child to her and then she would do the same, coming in like a whirlwind of golden hair and fury to wake him and demand his assistance.

By what seemed like the thirtieth time, Stein just gave up. They must have been so exhausted that they slept through some heavy screeching because he only woke up again when he felt himself hit Marie's floor, rolling off the bed. Luckily, his fall was broken by her plush rug but Marie almost stepped on him when she got up.

And by 'almost', he means 'definitely'. He fell asleep there, barely having the strength and willpower to get up and get the crying to temporarily stop after Marie had her turn. At the very least, he managed to drop himself on the mattress, closing his eyes for a measly ten minutes of bliss.

It must have been the fiftieth time Victoria woke them that night when Marie admitted total defeat. She rolled over and slapped him on the flank as though he were a horse when she heard the sign of a cry.

"I can't do it anymore. You can pick the movie tomorrow if you just take care of her. I'll give you head and everything. Just _shut her up_ ," she pleaded. She didn't wait for his response when she turned back around, burying her face in her pillows and bringing her arms up to cover her ears.

Stein found himself feeling murderous when he spent more time than he felt comfortable rocking what was essentially a plastic doll with a damn recording device inside to monitor what he did to it. He was tempted to slam it against the wall if it yelled one more time.

He didn't, of course. They caused enough damage. His sleep deprived mind was drowsy and he just felt so drained. The fake bottle to the fake lips of the fake baby was making him question if his entire life was fake. What even was reality, at that point? Was he even alive? Why was he doing this in the first place? If all of life truly was just his dream, as some believed, then why would he ever put himself into such a predicament? Was it his testosterone fueled body's way of creating a risk vs. reward scenario, and why would his mind make that reward a freebee movie and a blowjob from Marie?

Actually, once 'blowjob' and 'Marie' flit through his tired mind, he scratched that last thought. He knew why _that_ was a reward.

That might have been the only thing that even came close to making up for the torture he was going through. Yet, in his vulnerable, irritable state, his traitorous brain decided to take the time to whisper that Stein wouldn't put up with the situation he was in for anyone _other_ than Marie.

And that was just an unacceptable thought process for any time, let alone for 4:57 am.

He yawned deeply, all but ready to drape himself over the makeshift bed they'd designated for Victoria: a dog bed Marie kept from work with a few blankets and pillows in it for extra "comfort". That could very well have been fake, as well. A fake bed for a fake baby in his fake life. And he was doing it all for what? And why?

He thinks he should have never taken a Philosophy class.

* * *

Misery loved company. And Stein, though he didn't tend to like company outside of his usual, miniscule, insular group of friends, certainly loved gracing other people's lives with misery. He may have the tiniest of soft spots for Marie but he wasn't above cheap tactics to get a quick laugh.

So he held Marie to her promise of a movie choice, gleefully watching her reactions to the glory that was the "Human Centipede". Revenge was beautifully sweet.

"Oh my God, that's disgusting! Did he-"

"Yes."

"And those people-"

"Yes."

"And the one in the BACK-"

"Yes."

"Oh God," Marie whimpered, clinging to a frilly couch cushion and digging her face into it. Stein grinned, laughing when she faked that she was going to vomit.

He didn't get that blowjob. In fact, Marie told him that she didn't want to touch him or any other human being for at least six years while she recovered from the mental trauma he'd subjected her to. He answered her with a chuckle and a creepy, crooked grin that was all straight teeth.

She didn't have any problem taking care of Victoria's screeching considering she wasn't going to get any sleep anyway.

That night, she looked at Victoria balefully. "I hate your father."

The mechanical child gurgled in delight as if to tell her that despite being a robot that didn't have feelings or true intelligence or even honest observational skills, even she could tell that was a lie.

* * *

Night four. They were more than halfway there. They only had a few more days of hell and then they'd be blissfully, beautifully free.

At least, that's what they were chanting to themselves when they heard the familiar, dreaded cry.

"I'm so tired," Marie said, seemingly ready to sob.

"Set it on fire."

"It's your turn," Marie didn't even open her eye at his melodrama.

"I have work in the morning," Stein murmured out against her hair, which found its way into his mouth, and he sputtered.

That couch wasn't comfortable, but it was pretty convenient. He had to stop falling asleep sitting up in it though. Marie needed to get more than a loveseat. He couldn't properly stretch out and he wanted his bed back. She needed to get a television in her room, actually. That was the only reason they usually ended up too sleepy and exhausted to climb her stairs.

"I cooked dinner," Marie informed, her voice slurred.

"You picked the movie."

"I let you take the shower first."

"I let you win at Mortal Kombat."

"You did not, you liar. I won fair and square."

"She's your kid."

"Our. And you just called her a 'she'."

"If I get her will you _shut up_?"

"Mmm, God, yes. I love you so much."

Stein's eyes opened in surprise, but Marie already snuggled down into the pillow she had the good sense to bring with her. More than that, what would he say if she weren't asleep, anyway? He swallowed, getting up and away quickly.

Victoria quieted down within five minutes, the fastest she'd ever been calmed, but he spent longer in that room than necessary. He blinked, worrying his lip in his teeth. She certainly woke him up.

 _"I love you so much."_

He knew, of course. Whether or not he wanted to stare that particular beast down, he knew. He'd be an idiot not to realize.

It was just the act of hearing it with nothing to hide it or change it, no way to confuse it for something it wasn't. The act of hearing it said so _honestly_ jarred him, jolted something in his chest because the last time he'd been told those particular words hadn't been pleasant.

But it wasn't anything like how Medusa said it at all. It wasn't followed with "-so why do you take those stupid pills?" or "Am I not enough?" in regards to his depression or psychosis medication. Not followed with "-so be a damn man about it and hurry the hell up, Stein." Not followed with any ultimatum or too-sharp nails digging into the backs of his hands or anything else that made him cringe.

Sure, Marie wanted him to quiet Victoria, but that phrase, that foreign clarification, her adoration, it wasn't because he agreed or to get him to agree, either. It was just affection with nothing expected in return.

Not even reciprocation, whether it was there or not.

There. Or not?

He ran a hand through his hair once.

Twice.

* * *

Marie dragged him grocery shopping on Day five. They were running out of practically everything in the house and she refused to eat like a first year college student scarfing down struggle sandwiches. Not again.

He was surprised that they ate through her fridge and cabinets so fast, but it made sense when he thought about the fact that he suddenly had a lunch at work. And actually ate breakfast. And ate more than one meal a day, now that he thought about it. He winced when he realised she'd just done it without any real thanks.

Selflessness was too foreign to him.

So that he didn't come off as a mooch, he offered to pay for the groceries, but Marie told him not to bother.

 _Oh, sure._

Money was always tight with her, but she was a stubborn woman. Marie's job working at an animal shelter hadn't gotten her a paycheck for a few weeks at that point.

Her parents' support could only stretch so far, so he insisted. She gave in when she remembered that her bank account had maybe twelve dollars in it. So it became a "family" trip, and Stein drove them, Victoria settled comfortably in Marie's lap until they got to the store. The blonde bounced Victoria around in her arms before setting the kid into the provided baby basket in the shopping cart.

Stein got stuck, somehow, wheeling it around while Marie picked out boxes of cereal and chocolate milk and fruit snacks. Not very balanced meals in his opinion, but he was the one who mostly lived off of take-out and multivitamins. It was a good thing he exercised, or he was certain his metabolism would murder him.

It was a wonder that he was healthy with the garbage he usually ate. Come to think of it, he believed his body fat percentile actually went down in the past few days with Marie even though he hadn't been working out as much with Victoria around. It was an interesting hypothesis. The lack of sleep along with the more balanced meals must be doing him good. Not to mention rocking anything for a good few hours was a good arm workout.

And sex burned a lot of calories.

Okay, so Marie was good for him. What else was new? He didn't have to dwell on those things, especially after what she said last night. He was thinking too much.

Sighing, Stein followed closely behind Marie as she wandered to pick up various meats. The girl could get lost in a paper bag so anything that extended beyond a three foot following distance was an absolute no-go. Victoria had, thankfully, been quiet the entire trip, save for a few annoying gurgles.

He _knew_ he didn't have good enough luck for her to remain that way, but he still hoped.

Screw hope. Hope always let him down before. He was cursed, he knew it.

She couldn't have lasted just six more minutes? She just _had_ to get hit with an artificial hunger pang after they got everything they needed while they were in line to pay? Stein made a face and instantly scooped her up into one arm from the baby-basket while Marie reached into her purse with one hand to give him the baby-bottle, setting a jar of peanut butter on the convertor belt with the other.

As though with ease. He supposed the past few days ingrained some muscle memory into them. However, when everything was rung up and Victoria still wasn't content, Stein looked to Marie and pushed a hip out.

"Grab my wallet," he told her, cradling Victoria with one arm while feeding her with the other. It must have looked all too real and natural because the cashier was smiling, looking as though they were going to squeal at how adorable the scene was. Stein tried not to glare and was distracted when Marie swiped her hands on her skirt and grabbed the edge of his wallet that peeked out of his pocket, opening it.

"There's cash," he said, figuring it would be the easiest method.

"Alright," Marie replied, looking at him with gratitude. "Thanks, again."

Stein would wave her off but he was a tad busy at the moment, so he just kept behind her, scowling at how fussy the false-child was being and how awestruck the cashier was. He froze when he heard the conversation, if it could even be called that, going on over the gurgling.

"Your family is beautiful," the cashier told Marie when they handed over the change and Marie's eye widened, turning to look at Stein, who immediately looked down, pretending he couldn't hear. He peered at her reaction from under his bangs, bouncing the robo-tot. She blinked rapidly, her eye slightly shiny before she gave a strained smile.

She thanked the cashier quietly while loading the bags into the cart. When she wheeled it off, keeping her grip on his wallet firm, Stein followed afterward, silently.


	3. Goes the Biological Clock

Victoria was strangely non-fussy that night. Not that they weren't thankful, but it put them both slightly on edge. Marie assumed that was just a part of parenthood. Honestly, she didn't know how Kami dealt with all the stress. Maka was older and less fussy, not that she was a fussy baby to start with, but still, it must have been hard for her.

Marie smothered a sigh. The atmosphere was... awkward. She knew he heard the conversation in the grocery store, and she just felt so weary about all of it: the babysitting, the fake baby... Stein.

They didn't feel like watching a movie and Stein's back was flat-out slaughtering him from sleeping on the couch for so many nights. He didn't want to go into Azusa's room, because the woman was weird and it would feel strange to sleep in her bed, so he ended up, as he always did, in Marie's bed. He almost didn't want to, and he could see that Marie was also conflicted. It was a pull between wanting to be close and wanting space. The inches between them could have well been miles or millimetres. He didn't know which he'd prefer.

He couldn't sleep. And neither could she and he could tell because he knew her, probably better than almost anyone else. It didn't matter if she was trying to keep her breathing deep and rhythmic, he knew a fake sleep when he heard one.

He'd been thinking too much, again. She was right there, her back to him. He shifted in the bed, turning onto his side and catalogued her: tank top, no bra, pajama pants, hair loose. Marie. He knew this, too. He knew all of it.

He had all the facts right in front of him.

"Marie?" he asked, his voice shattering through the room. If she didn't answer, he'd just turn back around.

But she shifted, her back still to him. "...Yeah?"

He didn't know how to answer that. He didn't actually have a question or anything to tell her. He didn't really know _what_ he wanted. When the silence stretched out too far, Marie turned her head, concern creasing her forehead.

"Franken?"

Still no answer. Just him looking at her. She frowned, rolling onto her back, intent on facing him, but his hand suddenly came out and stopped her, palm over the slope of her shoulder to gently push her back.

"Franken-"

"Why are you so concerned?" he asked, hand still where he had originally set it. She couldn't see him, it strained her neck too much to try to look over her shoulder, and lying on her side like that, she figured he didn't want her to look at him anyway.

"Because you were just silent for a good five minutes after calling my name?" she answered, keeping her voice gentle.

This was uncharted. She was used to him being coy, or silly, or stupidly infuriating, or a goddamn tease. Not this, though. Not... vulnerable.

"That isn't what I meant."

"Okay," she said, "Could you tell me what you meant?"

He didn't reply, but she felt the bed dip closer to her as he moved, and suddenly, he was sweeping her hair away and to the side, and she felt his lips on the nape of her neck and she sucked in a breath. She was usually the one to do such sweet, chaste things.

"Franken-" she started, but his mouth just moved down her spine through her shirt, and she was certain each place of his lips marked the ridges of her vertebrae. She swallowed when his hand moved from her shoulder down, over the dip of her waist, until it settled on the space right before the swell of her hip, his heat dulled by the fabric. He was making sure he wasn't touching her skin.

He was giving her an out.

She didn't know what he wanted from her, outside of the usual.

She thought about it for a second. Maybe he heard the conversation in the store, wanted to prove to her that nothing had changed.

Maybe it was time for her to just accept that, between them, nothing would change. She always knew that she just wanted to be with him, wanted him to want her, to want to be with her. And sometimes she could try to convince herself that he did, in more ways than just the physical or the friendly. He could be so affectionate sometimes, could be so careful with her.

She loved him. Loves.

But it didn't change anything.

So she takes a deep breath in before she set her jaw and moves, dislodging his touch so she could remove her tank top, baring her torso to him. His hand hovered until she brought her own on top of it, guiding him to rove over her and down.

If he was trying to tell her that he didn't want her to get ideas in her head about what they could be and he was attempting to be delicate with her, she didn't want the pity.

She wanted tender. She wanted intimate. But she didn't want it if it was artificial.

Every movie she'd ever seen made it seem like it would be a blur, a caption of slow motion cinematography that could be replayed before her to a beautiful soundtrack. But it wasn't, and a piece of her almost wanted it to be. There was something about the atmosphere that reminded her of when they first started having sex. But, unlike then, when it was just a frenzy of hands and eyes clenched shut, there was something too sweet about how gentle he was being with her.

She didn't want to have such perfectly clarity of turning her head to kiss him but deciding at the last moment not to, instead telling him to take his shirt off, to take his pants, her pants off, to get _her_ off.

She could direct them back to what was familiar. Fucking was familiar.

They didn't have any business making love, faking love. Not when she was the only one _in_ love. Not when it couldn't be anything different because he was Stein and a world where he loved her was too much fantasy and not enough cold, brazen reality.

Fucking they could do. They had practice in that. They were good at it.

* * *

They'd started with her on all fours, her back to him, her face pressed to her pillows. Carnal, smooth motions that, for once in all the times they'd been together, felt almost. . .empty.

"Do you want it harder?" he'd breathed and Marie had tossed her head side to side, toes curling.

"No, no. You're fine, you're good," she told him, and Stein rubbed his thumb over her hardened nipples, which made her jolt. It wasn't that they were doing anything different: it was just that with all the strange, stifling emotion in him, he couldn't get into it like he usually could.

It was like he was going through the motions. He leaned back slightly, clenching the muscles of his stomach so he could keep up his pace and Marie made little, quiet whimpers every time she rocked backward to meet his thrusts.

Stein moved his head around, letting it fall forward so he could look down from under his bangs while he rolled his hips. He stared at where they were joined, his cock slick with her, and the sight sparked pleasure up his spine, seeing her body accepting him inside. He moaned, taking his lip between his teeth.

Her golden hair was wild, flicked over her shoulder, and he felt something hitch in him when Marie shifted, spreading her legs out farther and flexing her spine. She supported herself on a single forearm so she could slide a hand between her legs.

It seemed she wanted more than he was giving her.

As she rubbed herself in time to his thrusting, her body throbbed around him, and he sucked in a harsh breath, pace faltering when he felt her fingers move from her clit, instead stroking what of him wasn't engulfed by her.

"Deeper," she directed, arching and pressing herself back onto him to take him in further. He brought the hand that was stimulating her nipples to join her own between her thighs, circling his hips and adjusting his angle so he was grinding in her, slowing down.

The change of speed seemed to helped, and he tilted his head to watch her face, satisfied when her mouth curved into a smile with a satisfied hum.

He was keeping his palm on the mattress as general leverage, but he was surprised when Marie turned her head to kiss at his wrist, up his pulse, to the hollow of his elbow. Her lips were soft, tender. It was such a delicate thing, the gentle brushing of her mouth over his arm.

She hadn't done anything like that before, and she pressed her cheek to flat of his arm, closing her eyes. Her eyelashes fluttered against his skin and he found that he wanted to look at her, to watch her face from more than just behind.

Maybe that was what the problem was. Maybe they just needed a change in position.

Maybe they just needed a change.

"Marie," he groaned out, stopping all his motion to instead wrap an arm around her waist, his fingers splaying across her side. She wiggled her hips, making a questioning noise as though to why he was taking a break before he gently pulled out of her and she turned her head to look at him from over her shoulder.

Yes. That _was_ what the problem was.

He wanted to watch the way her mouth shaped his name, the way her cheeks would warm, the way she'd tilt her head back and bare her throat to him. He wanted her to press her face into the juncture of his neck and shoulder, set her palms on his shoulders and bite her nails in as she lost herself to him.

He didn't want to look at her back, at the side of her face.

Her harsh panting had regulated from the lack of motion, but he seemed to take her breath away when he dropped his head and set a kiss to her shoulder-blade, setting his cheek upon her back.

"F-Franken?" she asked, and he could feel the shake of her words through the skin she bared to him.

"Can you turn around?" he replied, and, confused, she tried to look over her shoulder once more, only to feel Stein shake his head, tightening his hold her her waist as though pressing her close to him before he let go and shuffled backward, giving her space. Her eyebrows came together slightly, and she felt her heart throb before she adjusted herself, feeling strangely exposed with him watching her with an unreadable expression on his face.

She didn't feel awkward for long, since he came over her, covering her body with his own. She tried to lock her gaze with his, but she found that he moved so close to her face, nose to nose with her, that she simply closed her eye, sharing breath with him. But he didn't kiss her. Instead, he ran his fingertips over the curve of her shoulder, down her arm, as though fascinated with her body, despite the fact that he had been having sex with her for years.

And all her feelings of being exposed morphed into something more like vulnerability, shuddering pleasantly at his ministrations. And for a moment, with her eye closed, she thought she could let herself pretend. He was touching her so sweetly, seemingly not trying to bring her to orgasm but to, instead, convey something of. . .affection? It didn't seem like him, but his nails brushed her thumb before his touch left, and she blinked her eye open to see the almost awe-struck expression on his face.

She had started panting, again, not even having realized it. But he wasn't doing anything necessarily orgasmic. He was just. . .touching her for the sake of touching her. And she knew she couldn't pretend, couldn't act like they were lovers, but in that moment, she also couldn't lie to herself and act as though she didn't want to be. She wanted him to keep doing touching her, to run his hand over all of her, and she arched up to him, bringing them chest to chest, thigh to thigh. She felt how hard he was against her belly, his erection, still slick from earlier, pressed to her, and she rolled her hips, wanting him. In too many ways.

When he pulled back, barely, his upper body still so close to her, in order to bring himself inside of her, she couldn't help but gasp, bringing her legs up and around his torso.

He didn't take the pace he had, before. Instead, he moved in slower, deeper thrusts, and each time he took himself almost all the way in, she sucked in a harsh breath against his mouth. She threw an arm around his neck, wanting to be closer to him. She wanted to be skin-to-skin with him everywhere, pressed into and onto one another. Her fingers tangled in his hair, her thighs hitching higher on his torso before she pushed their mouths together, her free hand roving down his back.

Her hands felt clumsy, like she didn't know what to do with them, like she was giddy and nervous. He took her lip between his teeth and reached up to cup her cheek, bumping their noses together. His thumb rubbed over her cheekbone as though soothingly, and when he pulled away for breath, he set his forehead against her own as he continued moving.

He was shaking with the effort, but Marie seemed to enjoy the new position more, and he was sure if he opened his eyes, he'd see that the flush on her face would be matched on her breasts and hips. He could feel how _slick_ she was, how puffy. She bucked, meeting his thrusts and urging him to go faster, turning her head to the side while he kept going, hooking his chin over her shoulder and pressing his cheek to the side of her face.

Her body felt electric, her skin hot. She gasped into the air, her soft moaning accompanied by his own, and she muttered tatters of his name into his ear, voice tipping in had let go of her hold on his hair, wrapping one arm around his neck and the other clutching him about the torso, holding him close to her.

She didn't want to _fuck_ him. She wanted to _be_ with him. She wanted to be his and he hers, and she shuddered and whimpered out "Deeper", feeling like she was going to tip over an edge that she hadn't even known existed before. He tilted his hips, and he must have done something right because she buried her face against his shoulder, scratching down his back and muffling her encouragements into his skin. He kept rocking into her, bringing a hand to her scalp and holding the back of her head, holding her, cradling her body to him and molding them together. He _felt_ her wail, as though it echoed in every piece of him, inside of him, shaking his ribcage. Torso to torso, every tremble she gave brought his nerves alive, and he felt all her muscles tensing, her body tightening around him as she came.

With her mouth to his flesh, he almost couldn't make out how she'd keened out "I love you!" She almost didn't realize that she said it, so caught up in her orgasm.

But she said it, and it seemed to echo.

He didn't even have it in him to muffle his embarrassingly loud moaning, something jolting in him in the best way, his toes curling, head spinning, barely understanding what he was saying, ("Oh God, _Marie_. Did you just-") before he came, too, clutching her like she was the only buoy and he were drowning.

He was shaking, hard, muscles trying to give out, but he had enough sense to hold himself up over her so she wouldn't be crushed. He nearly whimpered at how hyper-sensitive he was, how her walls were fluttering around him. It took a while for him to go soft, his breathing jagged, and Marie was still shaking when he carefully pulled out of her, chest heaving. She had turned her face away from him, and he breathed in harshly through his nose as he flopped to his side, tying off his condom and throwing it into the trashbin she kept by her bedside table. When he turned back to look at her, her hair was in her face and across her lips, and she wore a confused expression, her eye dazed and soft and shining.

He felt boneless and dizzy, watching her stare up at the ceiling as they both collected themselves.

". . .Marie?" he asked, voice harsh and jagged, but she only shook her head, slowly. When she seemed to bring herself together, coming to her side to face him, she was trembling so hard, he couldn't tell if it was the aftermath of her orgasm or the cold or something else entirely.

Stein swallowed, his mind clearing.

He suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe when she brought herself forward, curling against him and hiding her face from the world.

Hiding her face from him.

He felt her lips mouth something against his throat and he didn't understand any of it.

They didn't know how to do _this_.

 _He_ didn't know how to do this.

He carefully, hesitantly, set his palm on the top of her head, his fingers stroking her hair and she mouthed against his throat.

He swallowed again when she pressed a kiss, soft and watery and tender, to his skin.

And he didn't know what to do at all.

* * *

Come the next day, Marie gave off the vibe that she wanted to forget just how intimate they'd been, and Stein, though slightly concerned, respected that. He had to get his thoughts together, too. Besides, they were both so tired from lack of proper, uninterrupted sleep. And it wasn't as though they got a full night earlier, with or without Victoria's interruptions. Even Stein, who often doubled as an insomniac, had a bit of a hard time concentrating.

He didn't have work that day, a Sunday, so he dealt with Vicky in the morning while Marie slept in (he figured she could use it more than he could) and they mostly spent the day napping.

When it came time to eat, breakfast and lunch mostly consisted of grabbing whatever was in the fridge and remotely edible. Stein would offer to cook cup noodles, if that constituted as cooking.

Seven rolled by. Eight pm. At nine, Marie's stomach growled loud enough to hear over the loud music of Super Mario Kart and she paused the game, getting up and rummaging around next to the console for something.

"I need a shower," she announced, one of the few things she'd actually said all day, before throwing a random pizza menu to him. "Just get the usual."

He nodded, setting down the controller. Vicky was on his lap and he had to move her slightly to grab at his phone on the table, dialing the number with one hand as he crooked Victoria in his free arm.

Marie made her way off to take a blissful shower, knowing Stein had everything handled for the moment. She stopped on the stairs, however, just to take a few too many moments to stare at the scene. Stein, on her couch, in her living room, with five o'clock shadow and a baby, their fake baby, in his arm while he ordered food. It was just so beautifully, blissfully domestic. She could almost envision it being reality, being a truth.

It was something she thoroughly believed she couldn't have. Could she?

No, probably not. She knew she wouldn't make that first move. Not again. She tried making the first move years ago and it got her screwing her best friend and confused and painfully on the cusp of something for months and months.

She didn't want to be on the cusp. She _despised_ cusps. She wanted to either _be_ with him or be away from him.

Last night was just too much. He'd been gentle with her before and after sex. Clinical, at first, as though it was a business transaction, but three years softened him. But not like _that_. He'd never come to her with such soft kisses down her back, treated her body like it was precious.

His hands were never that adoring before.

She didn't have enough control over her facial features to hide the absolute yearning on her face. And it was that same yearning Stein got an eyeful of when he looked at her, wondering why she hadn't left for her shower yet. She covered it up with a quick, unconvincing smile before she turned, hiding herself from his gaze and making her way up the stairs and out of his sight.

He didn't know if that want was for the scene or for him. If it were for the scene, then he knew it was just a fantasy: pretend, practice for Marie, even. She could replace Stein with anyone and still have that hopeful look on her face. She loved children and families and the 2.5 kid, picket fence mentality so much.

A man like Stein didn't fit in with that illusion.

And yet there he was, a part of it. Because he wasn't stupid or disillusioned enough to believe he wasn't an important part of that fantasy.

Spirit used to tell him, years ago, to stop leading her on, but Marie had seemed fine with their arrangement, before.

Or, perhaps he had just decided not to see what parts of it she wasn't fine with. He understood that it couldn't go on like that forever. Marie would finish college in just one more year and she could teach English like she wanted, and he would keep going on in medical school. She'd want foundation, solidity. Him. Had wanted him for a long time.

And he wanted her. He'd wanted her for three years and she hadn't hurt him. What was he afraid of? Certainly not Marie, Marie who told him she loved him, Marie who bared her throat to him, her soul to him, Marie who opened her body to his hands, his mouth, to him. Marie, who he had a… fondness for. One he couldn't deny. Marie who he knew. Marie who he just flat out wanted to be with, who he didn't want to be without.

Marie who made him so damn happy.

It seemed so simple, laid out like that.

When she settled next to him on the couch after her shower, her hair smelling of something fruity, the pizza was on the table and he'd already set Victoria to sleep. It felt practiced and easy. Because it was, because they'd done this multiple times in the past.

Dates, he realised. He'd pretty much been dating Marie all that time without ever acknowledging it. Her.

She ate quietly: a peaceful, blissful, utterly tame silence, acting as though there was nothing to be said when there was everything to be said.

So, he guessed if she wasn't going to, he was.

"Marie?"

* * *

He absolutely _wasn't_ emotional giving Vicky over. He didn't get accustomed to her. Spirit had downloaded an app, linked to the mechanical baby that graded Stein and Marie's parenting skills, so there was no need for them to wait, either. They could get their results and then be on their merry way instantly- the joys of the technological era, which was appreciated considering they had to be at the restaurant soon.

Despite both of them being eager to have a quiet, blissful night free of hellish wails, Marie held Victoria to her chest, walking a step behind Stein as if he were going to protect them both.

Hormones, no doubt. It was biology: an evolutionary trait, especially considering the new development in their relationship. He didn't like that he felt archaic, though, old fashioned.

Kind of like a cave-man: protect baby, protect baby-mama, go home for steak.

He needed a smoke but he forgot the pack in the pants he'd chucked somewhere last night and couldn't find in the morning. He yawned, arms draped across the back of the park bench, and Marie pinched his inner arm when she saw Spirit walking over to them, grinning. He let one of them drop down to his lap.

"Good job, guys!" Spirit said, holding hands out for Victoria without any hesitation, looking over his two friends. "You got a 92%."

Stein was amazed. He thought it would be far lower.

"92?"

"There was an incident during night two or three... she was jostled a lot, apparently."

Marie looked up at Stein. Ah. That would be when they had their version of hot-potato with Victoria.

"In any case, Kami doesn't like that it wasn't 100, but you know how she is. A warrior _and_ a worrier." Spirit laughed, but stopped when he took in the position the two of them were in. The arm Stein kept draped across the bench shifted onto Marie's shoulders, which wasn't strange in of itself. It was that the arm that wasn't was stretched across so Marie could easily hold his hand once she didn't have Victoria to occupy them.

Stein. Holding hands. Voluntarily. Spirit stared at their linked fingers, and then looked at Stein's face in astonishment.

"Are you... you two... oh my god, _finally_."

"Fuck you, Spirit," Stein said, though it lacked any bite, and Marie giggled, leaning on her boyfriend.

The redhead laughed. "You guys are in the clear!" he told them, smiling. "I guess I'll talk to you later about babysitting details?"

Marie nodded. "Yep," she confirmed, but while Spirit went to walk away, deactivating Victoria as he went, she piped up again. "Oh, and thanks!"

He stopped in his tracks, looking over his shoulder and seeing the matching, knowing looks on the couple's face. Spirit grinned.

"No problem," he said, turning back around and walking off.

Stein got up with Marie, the two of them moseying back to his car while she was wrapping an arm around his waist and settling her hand into his back pocket. And, ahead, while the two of them were occupied with each other, Spirit sent his wife a text reading, simply: "It totally worked. I owe you $20."

* * *

 **Welcome to Resbang 2k15! Starting it off with, rather literally, a bang! To be absolutely honest, it's a little odd to know that Resbang is here after working on it for so long.** **This fic has gone through multiple drafts, multiple betas, and multiple stages of frustration, on my part. Yet, now, here it is.**

 **Massive thanks go out to my main betas: Jcrycolr3wradcse and Crimson-Lia. Without them, this fic would be a pile of smoldering ash. It is through their encouragement that I could finish this, as well as finish my other 4 resbangs! Thank you guys so much! Also, heart-eyes at my last minute beta, Earth-Shines, who took the time to look over this behemoth, despite having multiple other fics to edit.**

 **And massive MASSIVE thanks goes out to Fabulous Anima, who was not only another beta for this RomCom fluff, but also made the gorgeous cover illustration to go along with this fic, creating Victoria and bringing her to life in front of my eyes. Pleasepleaseplease support her over at FabulousAnima .tumblr .com. She has been an amazing Resbang Partner and a wonderful Mod, and I am so thankful that I got to work with her! The link to her art can be found here:** **fabulousanima .tumblr (dot com) post/ 134368586034 /biological-clock-resbang-2015-i-have-had-the**

 **If you can't access it, feel free to pop me a message and I'll send you the link! Thank you for reading!**


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